Word After Word

 

 

Instead of obsessing on all the little hurts and slights, I’m trying to obsess on everything that goes well, on what I like and feel good about it. In this way, I’m trying to alter my chemistry. I see the high points as prayer in that they are lists of gratitude. In the way that noticing a blessing makes it bigger, makes it possible to pass on more of that kind of energy.

 

Last night I drove to my friend at the Tissot lecture at the museum. Early, I walked in to the elegant grand hall of the museum, slapping along in my Converse and black leather jacket, black jeans, no make-up. My hair was all electrified and pouncy because it’s October, storming, inside and out. And all the men were dressed in formal suits and the women were in dressy dresses and silvery heels, tiny beaded purses. There canapés and silver trays floating around. A live piano and live violin! In someone else’s dream, this would have been a nightmare. When I say EVERYONE was dressed up, I am not exaggerating. My friend flew in, also coming straight from work. “When did they all have time to change into these beautiful clothes?” she said. I looked at my punk self.  My giant Converse, their white laces like teeth. And I grinned. I’m an artist. I’m new to town.

 

And of course Tissot basically loves women’s dresses more than even women, so every picture on the wall also contributed more super dressed up people. Even the women floating in a raft on the putrid Thames were in silks, hats, and party shoes!

 

But I stayed on my high points. I had a twinge of sadness, wrongness—I am in the wrong clothes. Yes. Yes you are. It’s not a moral violation. I did not know we got so dressed up for this particular lecture. And so, I sent the observation packing. And I stayed on my high points: I am here because I love dry point and marks on paper and I have lectured all day long and I want to sit in a chair and listen to someone tell me things he knows. About women in beautiful beautiful clothes.

 

And so I stayed myself in my skin without aggression or apology, not too small, not too big. And I learned a lot about Tissot. I am proud that I didn’t care too much (or too little) about being the truly only person dressed in very very casual clothes at what turned out to be a fancy party. It was noted. Then I moved on.

 

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The beautiful heirloom tomato card from Pea

S. likes the class and is learning so much.

JaQ had a breakthrough in her writing!

JaZ. wrote the most heartbreaking true thing, it sang, she found her voice!

The crazy fun fan mail for my article in O

Alyssa’s book of sticky notes—her showing me her reading

Alyssa loving my idea for her Halloween costume: “You are a genius!”

My healing cabbage ginger soup worked!

Related posts:

1. High Points of Summer!
2. Most Thoughtful Moment of the Day
3. Manliness High Points
4. Ten Tender High Points
5. Crazy Burning Dramatic High Point, and other things like points