When I came out as a face blind person, the struggle was to explain to people that I didn’t recognize them. This is always superbly hard because I don’t know right away who a person is. I have to figure it out.Now that I am out, people keep asking me, “How did you know it was me!” Usually, they just want more information on a mysterious and confusing and difficult-to-understand disorder. But sometimes I hear in the way they ask the question an accusation. I thought you were supposed to be so face blind.Face blind people often have highly developed compensation systems. I recognize people all the time. Not the human face. Every day, I can greet many, many people. By context. It’s hard work, it takes a lot of concentration and a really good memory and a very sensitive system. So, the other day, I was walking in to the doctor’s office and this friendly person who clearly knew me, a student, was coming out of the doctor’s office. She said “Hi Heather” and I said “Hi,
Nancy.” I identified the voice but also she had her pink lap top gripped to her chest, her little blue knit hat. With just those three bits, would I have known her? I’m not sure. No way to know. The reason I landed on “
Nancy” was because just a few weeks ago my student Nancy gave me a piece of writing that took place in this very doctor’s office, she named him by name. That’s how I knew. (Also, it was first thing in the morning. Like anyone with a disorder or a life, I’m better at compensating when I’m rested and fed and cheerful.)It was like reading a book and coming to a part the author has prepared you for. You feel like you are having this big recognition experience—that through your own cleverness you’ve figured out an important piece of the plot. When in reality, it’s all been set up for you. If I run into Nancy at a gymnasium in Hudsonville, totally out of the blue, and she’s in a ponytail and a track suit and her pink computer is in the shop—I’m not going to know it’s her. UNLESS there’s some other constellation of clues, some other way I can figure it out.Now, not only do I have to explain why I can’t recognize people, I have to explain how I can recognize them, which I do, all the time. But it’s a ton of work! It’s great when people just tell me who they are. But that’s weird too because I’m often in the process of recognizing them. My process is slow and tricky—it really is like with each person, I’m writing a book.Handily, I am a writer, so I can choose to see this face blind thing not as a disorder or disability, but practice. Practice in paying attention.
Related posts:
- How Face Blindness Is Going
- So if I Have Face Blindness, How Do I Find You in a Parking Lot?
- People Magazine Article On Face Blindness
- Just Another Pretty Face
- Lauren Wants to Know
this reminds me of the time after our Dreamweaver lesson and I was walking past Martha Miller Center. You honked and waved at me as you drove on by. My first thought was, how did she know it was me? Then my tinnnnyy logical side figured out that it was easy! You just saw me, you knew what i was wearing and… i was the only Chinese around. hahaha. easy peasy. I love being different! hehehe.